Why Femininity can be the missing piece in Coaching for us women

Last week was my 3-year anniversary of my Coaching business! This journey has definitely been unlike no other - I learned and grew so much, personally and professionally, facing my fears and insecurities, while also tapping into my potential and dreams.

The journey of entrepreneurship as well as coaching is a combination that, to me, has probably the greatest potential of transformation and trigger. Because if you offer coaching, you are both a student and a teacher. You are yourself learning what you preach and it requires a great amount of compassion, resilience, and awareness to juggle these two roles.

I have either done or tip-toed most things that you usually come across in the field of coaching and personal development - mindfulness, meditation, affirmations, journalling, gratitude practice, reiki, cacao ceremony, shamanic ceremony, silent retreat, Buddhist retreat, female empowerment, embodiment practice, inner child healing, life coaching, business coaching, and more.

While I could always learn something new and grow further or deeper, I felt I would never arrive at the destination. And I understand that we are (ideally) on a life-long journey of evolution and transformation, but at some point, I could feel I grew tired of learning another new coaching tool. It felt like it would never end and it felt like hustling to achieve rather than cultivating lasting peace within.

While I probably was conditioned like many of us to scan my life for a problem to fix, I would soon start to actually feel the disadvantages than advantages of coaching. Although I looked deep within me and didn’t hesitate to honestly look into my blind spots and limitations, I felt that one tendency of the coaching industry was to keep us looking for the next great solution that can fix our life, whether it is being consciously or unconsciously steered by some actors in the coaching scene (e.g. giving more a cure for the symptoms rather than the root).

But I also have to say that it is not necessarily because of potential negative intentions of parts of the coaching industry, but probably also because the industry is relatively new. We know that the coaching industry seemed to have exploded, now being crowded with new and different providers, while not being strictly regulated or totally and commonly understood by everyone involved. And this is what I meant in the beginning when I mentioned my own navigation between being a student and a teacher - if we are not being able to draw a line - as we are human and still learning - we may wear a teacher hat, although we are deep down still a student acting out of our wounds and limitations, that can lead to imperfect offers, while clients may buy deep into the marketing promise.

When I felt stuck although in my own story “I did so much”, I first couldn’t believe that I ended up in a stuck position despite coaching, but then started to look deeper into what might have caused all of this and what could have been potentially missing along the way.

During this time, my attention got drawn to a few coaches on Instagram who were teaching on femininity. They were talking about a feminine way of doing business - which is so contrary and, as a result, often counterintuitive, to our conduct today - about feminine principles of receiving and resting rather than hustling and striving (but still creating and moving forward, just in a different way). I felt so drawn to this new content as I could feel I needed to do something different to create different results and the way I have been doing things so far didn’t resonate with my body anymore even though I didn’t know another way.

So I started to dive deeper into this content, which also meant I had to assess and select the online coaches and sources based on their quality, integrity, and depth of embodying this content themselves. Part of being in a patriarchal system can also mean that precious resources on all femininity can be all over the place, distorted, or incomplete, but the good news are that nothing can shut down these ancient wisdoms, esp. since we can feel into it in our own body, too. Out of a bodily impulse, for example, I had the desire to explore more about my femininity before through embodiment sessions, and now I realized there was even more to it.

And this is the complex situation we are now finding ourselves in, but from which we are gradually waking up as I feel - we have been normalizing the way we work, we live, and esp. the way we relate. We think it is normal, for example, how we are disconnected and feel uncomfortable in our body - which is basically taking away our foundation to live out from. We think it is normal to please other men for their validation or out of fear of communicating our own needs. We think it is normal to have friendships with other women where envy, judgments, or perhaps even subtle exclusion are part of. We also have come to believe, and actually perfect it, that the only way we can be successful in our career is to master the masculine principles like assertion, problem-solving, analytical thinking. These traits are not bad or wrong, but one-sided and leaving out the feminine potential that is in every woman.

And this was the missing piece not only in my professional life as a coach, but also, and if not especially, in my personal life. Femininity - our own nature - teaches us, amongst many other things, to increase our capacity to hold more and various kinds of emotions and situations, so we are not falling into fight-flight-or-freeze. Femininity also teaches us to rest and receive in trust, while moving forward to where our heart and joy leads us, still using our mind and grit, but just not exclusively anymore. Femininity teaches us to live our life and lead our business with our body and our feminine cycle, that is fluctuating different to how men operate. At the end, it is also the missing piece in our world that has been run extremely on a patriarchal system over centuries, with devastating and discriminating impact, such that now is the time to balance the energy in our world, by giving more room to the feminine, in cooperation with, not in opposition to the masculine.

My 1:1 Coaching | The Feminine Way is open for application - with a birthday special price only until June 30, 2023. Contact me if you want to know more and have a free chemistry session ♥️